Well, let’s talk about this Joselu fella. They call him Joselu, but his real name is Joselu Mato Sanmartn. Sounds fancy, don’t it? He’s a Spanish fella, born in Germany, Stuttgart to be exact, way back in 1990. Yep, he’s 34 years old now, a grown man, older than my grandson, bless his heart.

This Joselu, he plays football, you know, that game with the ball they kick around. He’s been playing for a long, long time. I heard he’s played more than 500 games! That’s a lot of running around, I tell ya. And he’s scored a whole heap of goals too, somethin’ like 172 of ‘em. That’s more goals than chickens I’ve got in my coop, and that’s sayin’ somethin’!
He’s played for all sorts of teams. I heard tell of Newcastle United, Deportivo Alaves, and even Real Madrid. Real Madrid, that’s a big one, like the biggest bull in the pasture. He even started out at Real Madrid’s academy way back when, a young whippersnapper of 20. Now he’s back there, playing with the big boys. Funny how life works, ain’t it?
- Team History: He’s bounced around a bit, that Joselu. Newcastle, Alaves, Real Madrid, even a team called Al-Gharafa SC, wherever that is. Sounds foreign, don’t it? Like them places on the TV.
- Goals Scored: Like I said, over 170 goals! That’s enough to win a whole lot of games, I reckon. He ain’t always the best player on the field, mind you, but he gets the job done, especially against the smaller teams. Keeps things movin’ along, you know?
- Age and Background: Born in Germany, Spanish parents. They say his folks went to Germany lookin’ for work, just like my cousin went to the city lookin’ for a job. He ended up back in Spain, though, in a place called Galicia.
Now, some folks say he ain’t no superstar, not like them fellas on the fancy commercials. They say he don’t score in the big games, only against the little fellas. But I say, a goal’s a goal, no matter who you score it against. And he’s a good fella in the locker room, they say. Folks like him, and that’s important, you know? You gotta be a good teammate, helpin’ folks out, just like in the farm when we need to help each other during the harvest.
One time, I heard he scored 14 goals in a season, just before his contract was up. That’s a good year, I tell ya. That put him as the seventh highest scorer in the whole league! See? He ain’t no slouch. He knows how to put that ball in the net, that’s for sure.
They talk about his “stats” and “performance metrics,” all them fancy words. But what it all boils down to is this: can he play football? And I reckon he can. He’s a hard worker, that Joselu. Reminds me of my old mule, always puttin’ in the effort, day in and day out.

He’s taller than my fence post, I hear, and probably weighs more than my prize-winning pig. They keep track of all that stuff, you know? His height, his weight, how many minutes he plays. It’s all a bit much for an old woman like me, but I guess it matters to them football folks.
So, there you have it. Joselu. A good player, a hard worker, and a fella who knows how to score goals. He might not be the fanciest player, but he gets the job done. And in my book, that’s all that matters. Just like a good hen lays eggs, Joselu scores goals. Simple as that.
And that’s all I know about Joselu stats. It ain’t much, but it’s honest. Just like me. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go feed them chickens.
Key Takeaways about Joselu:
- Joselu is a Spanish football player with a long career.
- He has played for many teams, including Real Madrid.
- He has scored over 170 goals in his career.
- He is known for performing well against smaller teams.
- He is considered a good teammate and a hard worker.