This John Daly, that fella, he’s somethin’ else. I heard folks talkin’ ’bout his diet, and it got me thinkin’. Lord, that man can eat! And the things he eats! It ain’t like what I’m used to, that’s for sure.
John Daly Diet – What that boy eats!
They say he smokes somethin’ fierce. Cigarettes, they call ’em. Twenty-one of ’em in one go! I reckon he’s got a cloud followin’ him around all day. Can’t be good for the lungs, I tell ya. But then again, he can smack that little white ball a country mile. I swear, that John Daly diet is a strange thing.
And the drinks! Not water, mind you. He drinks that fizzy stuff, Coca-Cola, but the diet kind. Says he drinks twelve of them! Twelve! I can’t even imagine. My old stomach would be bubblin’ like a pot on the stove. But he just keeps goin’, like a tractor in a cornfield.
Candy and more candy in that John Daly Diet
And the candy. Oh, the candy! They say he puts away six packs of them little peanut candies. Peanut M&Ms, I think they call ’em. Six whole bags! My teeth would be achin’ for a week. He must have a sweet tooth bigger than my whole mouth.
Now, I like a good piece of pie as much as the next person. But this John Daly diet, it’s just somethin’ else. It ain’t like what them fancy doctors tell you to eat. No sir. They tell ya to eat your greens, your carrots and such. I don’t think this John Daly fella’s ever seen a carrot in his life!
- 21 cigarettes – That’s a whole lot of smokin’!
- 12 Diet Cokes – My belly hurts just thinkin’ ’bout it.
- 6 packs of Peanut M&Ms – That’s more candy than I eat in a year!
Whisky and Popcorn in his Diet
Then I hear whispers about other stuff. They say he likes his whisky, that strong drink that makes your head spin. And popcorn! He eats that, too. Popcorn and whisky. Now, I’ve had me some popcorn at the picture show, but with whisky? That’s a new one on me. I reckon that John Daly diet is a mystery to us all.
I remember one time, my grandson, he tried to eat like that John Daly. Heard about it on the television, I reckon. Smoked a whole pack of his daddy’s cigarettes, drank all the soda in the house, and ate a whole bag of them peanut candies. He was sick as a dog for three days! I told him, “Boy, you ain’t John Daly! You stick to your grandma’s cookin’, and you’ll be just fine.”
He can eat a lot
And you know what they say? That man, he can eat like a horse. He can put away a whole meal in one sittin’. I swear, he must have a stomach made of iron. More food than I eat in a week, I bet. I’ve seen him on the TV, playin’ that golf game. He’s a big fella, that’s for sure. But strong, too. He just keeps goin’. I once heard he could eat a lot in one sitting, like more food than I ever saw. John Daly’s diet seems to work for him.
Some folks, they try to copy him. They think that’s the secret to playin’ golf like him. But it ain’t the diet, I tell ya. It’s somethin’ else. Somethin’ you’re born with, I reckon. Like my old rooster, he’s just naturally good at crowin’. This John Daly, he’s just naturally good at golf. I reckon you gotta be born with it.
Now, I ain’t sayin’ it’s a good diet. Don’t you go tryin’ to eat like that John Daly. It ain’t healthy, that’s for sure. You stick to your vegetables, your fruits, and your good home cookin’. That’s the way to stay strong and healthy. But for him, it works. He’s a champion, ain’t he? Must be doin’ somethin’ right.
So, this John Daly diet, it’s a wonder, ain’t it? It’s like nothin’ I’ve ever seen before. But hey, to each his own, I always say. He’s happy, he’s playin’ his golf, and he’s eatin’ what he wants. Who am I to judge? I just hope he takes care of himself, that’s all. He’s a good boy, that John Daly. A little strange, maybe. But good.
I just hope he knows what is good for him. That John Daly diet sure is something.
