“Girl on Top,” huh? Sounds like a movie title, or something catchy, doesn’t it? For me, it wasn’t quite so glamorous. It was this phase, this… well, let’s call it a personal project I decided to tackle head-on. It was about trying to get a real handle on things, to feel like I was truly steering my own ship, if you know what I mean.
It all kicked off when I just looked at where I was and thought, “Alright, something’s gotta give. Time to make some serious moves.” But this “practice” to get “on top,” it wasn’t some neat, step-by-step guide you find online. Nosiree. It was messy, real messy.
First off, I had to actually figure out what “on top” even meant in my world. It wasn’t about chasing some fancy title or climbing the corporate ladder in the traditional sense. Nah, it was more about gaining a sense of mastery over the challenges I was facing, both professionally and personally. So, the very first step involved a whole lot of thinking. And I mean, a serious amount of quiet time, just me and my thoughts. I scribbled notes like a madwoman, filled notebooks, and my mind maps probably looked like a confused spider had thrown a wild party on paper.
Then came the doing part. That’s where the real “practice” began.
I decided the best way to test myself was to volunteer for this ridiculously complicated project at work. You know the kind – the one everyone else avoids like the plague. A real monster of a task. That, right there, was going to be my mountain to climb. Here’s a bit of how that went down:
- I talked to people. A lot of people. From the fresh-faced intern who still had that spark in their eyes to the super grumpy senior guy who seemed to hate everything. I just tried to understand their perspectives, maybe get them on my side, or at the very least, ensure they weren’t going to actively sabotage things. It was a lot of listening, actually.
- I had to learn new skills. Super fast. There was no other way. Some days, I swear my brain felt like it was going to short-circuit from all the new information I was cramming in. Lots of late nights, fueled by way too much coffee. The usual story when you’re pushing your limits.
- And yeah, I failed. Oh boy, did I stumble. Some of my brilliant ideas turned out to be… well, not so brilliant. They just crashed and burned spectacularly. There were moments I genuinely just wanted to crawl under my desk and disappear. It was humbling, to say the least.
Honestly, most of it wasn’t exciting or dramatic. It was just pure, unadulterated grinding. Day in, day out. Pushing forward, inch by inch. Trying to keep my head above water when the waves of problems kept crashing down. There was this one particular week, I remember it vividly, where absolutely everything that could go wrong, did go wrong. My main point of contact for a critical task suddenly quit. The budget for a key component got unexpectedly slashed. I seriously, and I mean seriously, thought about just throwing in the towel. I went home that Friday, just utterly defeated, and stared at my bedroom ceiling for what felt like an eternity. Classic “dark night of the soul” kinda stuff, you know?
But then, you just… you kind of dust yourself off and get up again. What else are you gonna do, right? Lie there forever? So, I dragged myself back.
So, what was the “final implementation”? How did this whole “Girl on Top” experiment pan out? Well, the project itself didn’t magically transform into some earth-shattering, world-changing success story. Not by a long shot. But you know what? We got it done. It actually worked in the end, against some pretty tough odds. And more importantly, for me personally, I learned that I could actually handle that kind of intense pressure, that kind of sustained heat. I wasn’t exactly “on top of the world” in a fairy-tale sense, but I was definitely on top of that particular, gnarly situation.
That whole period really changed how I look at things now. It made me realize that being “on top” isn’t really a destination you arrive at. It’s more like a state of mind, a quiet confidence you build. It’s knowing, deep down, that you can face the really hard stuff, the messy stuff, the stuff that scares you, and not completely fall apart. You learn to navigate it.
So yeah, that was my “Girl on Top” journey. Less about some snappy, empowering catchphrase, and a whole lot more about the unglamorous grit, the daily grind, and maybe, just maybe, proving a little something important to myself.
