Alright, let’s talk about this stuff. You know, the kind of things guys say sometimes that just make you shake your head. I started kinda keeping track, not in a creepy way, just noticing patterns over the years. It’s become a bit of a practice, really, just observing.
It wasn’t like a planned project at first. It just happened. You’re at work, you’re out with friends, you’re just living life, and you hear these things. Over and over.
What kind of things?
Well, I started noticing a few common buckets these comments fall into. Stuff like:
- The weird flex: Guys bragging about stuff that doesn’t matter. Like how little sleep they got, or how much they can drink, or how busy they are. Like it’s some kind of competition nobody else signed up for.
- The “actually” guy: You know him. The one who just has to correct you, usually on something minor, or explain something to you that you already get. It’s like they think they’re dropping knowledge bombs, but it just comes off wrong.
- Trying too hard to be funny: Jokes that aren’t funny, maybe a bit offensive, or just plain awkward. You see the look on people’s faces. It’s rough.
- The downplayer: When someone shares something they’re proud of, and the guy immediately tries to one-up them or make it seem like no big deal. Just takes the wind right out of their sails.
It’s a whole mix, really. Sometimes it’s insecurity, sometimes it’s just not reading the room, sometimes it’s learned behavior. Who knows?
My own little experiment… or maybe just paying attention.
I remember this one time, years ago, I was working this job. Total pressure cooker environment. We had this team meeting, big boss was there. One of my coworkers, nice enough guy usually, starts going on this tangent. Trying to sound super smart, using all these buzzwords. But he was talking in circles. You could see the boss getting annoyed. Finally, the boss just cuts him off, says something like, “Okay, what’s the actual point here?” Total silence. It was brutal.
Made me think, though. Why did he do that? Probably nervous, trying to impress. We’ve probably all done versions of that, right? I know I have. Back when I was younger, thinking I had to puff myself up. Said some dumb stuff trying to fit in or look cool.
I had this other situation, completely different place, different team. We were brainstorming, throwing ideas around. And this one fella, every time a woman on the team suggested something, he’d sort of rephrase it slightly and present it like his own idea five minutes later. Maybe he didn’t even realize he was doing it. But everyone else noticed. It created this weird tension.
So, my “practice” was really just learning to listen more. Not just to the words, but to the why behind them. And trying, really trying, not to be that guy myself. It’s not about judging everyone, it’s more about understanding the weird ways we all communicate, or fail to communicate.
You see enough of it, you start to recognize the patterns. And hopefully, you learn to avoid making the same mistakes yourself. It’s an ongoing process, I guess. Just observing, noting it down mentally, and trying to do better. Simple as that, really. Still hear dumb stuff all the time, though. Just gotta roll with it.
