My Journey to ‘Future No Shame’
You know, people often talk about having it all figured out, especially when it comes to their future. Like there’s this one right path, and if you stumble, well, that’s on you. I used to buy into that big time. Felt like I was constantly looking over my shoulder, worried about what others thought, terrified of making a ‘wrong’ move.
I remember this one phase pretty vividly. I was chasing what everyone called the ‘sensible’ career. Got myself into a line of work that, on paper, looked fantastic. Good money, respectable, the kind of thing you tell your parents and they nod proudly. But man, was I miserable. I’d drag myself out of bed every morning, feeling like a complete fraud. It just wasn’t me. I stuck with it for a while, though, because I was so scared of being seen as a failure, of admitting I’d picked ‘wrong’. The shame of not fitting that perfect mold was heavy, really heavy.
The turning point wasn’t some grand epiphany. It was actually a series of small, almost insignificant things. I started tinkering with an old hobby, something I hadn’t touched in years because it wasn’t ‘productive’ or ‘career-oriented’. Just for fun, you know? Started sharing bits of it, very hesitantly at first. And a funny thing happened. People actually liked it. Not because it was polished or perfect, but because it was genuine.
Then I had this conversation with an old friend. I was kind of lamenting my ‘failed’ career path, and he just looked at me and said, “So what? You learned what you don’t want. That’s pretty valuable, isn’t it?” It sounds so simple now, but at that moment, it was like a lightbulb went on. Who was I trying to impress, really?
So, I started making changes. Small ones at first.
- I quit that ‘sensible’ job. That was a big gulp moment, let me tell you.
- I leaned more into that hobby, explored where it could take me.
- I stopped comparing my journey to everyone else’s highlight reel.
It wasn’t easy. There were definitely moments of doubt, times when that old shame tried to creep back in. “What are you doing?” it would whisper. “You’re throwing it all away!” But this time, something was different. I realized that the only approval I truly needed was my own. My future wasn’t about avoiding shame; it was about building something authentic, something that felt right for me, regardless of how messy the process looked from the outside.
And that’s what ‘future no shame’ means to me now. It’s not about having a perfect past or a guaranteed perfect future. It’s about owning all your experiences, the good, the bad, and the downright embarrassing, and knowing that they all led you to where you are. It’s about looking forward with a sense of “Okay, this is me, and I’m going to make it work, my way.” No apologies, no regrets, just moving forward. It’s a much lighter way to live, believe me. I sometimes see folks still stuck in that people-pleasing, shame-avoiding cycle, and I just kinda wish they could see there’s another way. Took me a while to get here, but I wouldn’t trade it.
