So my buddy Dave kept teasing me about my stock Harley VRSC, calling it a “granny bike.” Hell no. Last Tuesday I finally snapped, drained my beer and yelled – “Bet I’ll make it uglier than your ex-wife’s tattoo!” Grabbed my toolbox and got stupid.
The “Ideas” That Should’ve Stayed Ideas
- Ripped out rear fender like those YouTube guys do. Forgot it rains here. First puddle soaked my back like a diaper.
- Slapped on ape hangers from eBay. Steering felt like wrestling an octopus. Almost kissed a dumpster turning into Starbucks.
- Spray-painted exhaust wrap neon green. Melted into goo at first ride. Smelled like Satan’s burnt plastic.
Wife walked into garage Thursday night, stared at the disaster and sighed. “Still looks less embarrassing than your cargo shorts.” Ouch.
Things That Actually Didn’t Suck
- Swapped stock seat for this wide banana thing I found at the junkyard. Glued extra foam on top. Butt heaven.
- Stole LED strips off my kid’s gaming setup. Wrapped ’em under frame with duct tape. Glows like radioactive snot now – love it.
- Drilled holes in the air cleaner cover with my busted drill. Sounds angrier than my neighbor’s Chihuahua now.
Finished yesterday morning. Dave came over, took one look at my duct-taped monstrosity and slowly nodded. “Damn… that’s beautifully ugly.” Exactly what I was going for. Rode to burger joint, got thumbs-up from some biker grandpa. Victory tastes better than ketchup stains.
Still leaks oil though. But that’s Harley charm, right? shrug
