So I stumbled on this Fritz Paul doubles training video last Tuesday. Thought I’d give his methods a shot since my tennis partner Dave kept bitching about our losing streak. Grabbed my racket and dragged Dave to the community court at 7 AM sharp.
First secret was this “mirror footwork” drill. Fritz swore it boosts court coverage. We stood sideways facing each other like idiots, shuffling left and right in sync. Felt like doing the damn cha-cha slide. Dave tripped over his own feet twice in five minutes. My quads were screaming – hadn’t burned like that since high school gym class.
Then came the painful part. Fritz said to practice serves while holding a tennis ball between our knees. Supposed to “activate core muscles for power transfer”. Yeah right. Looked like we were trying not to crap our pants. Dave’s ball dropped on the first swing, mine went flying when I sneezed. Couldn’t even hit the net, let alone the service box.
Real kicker was the “silent communication” exercise. Had to play three games straight without talking. Fritz claimed eye contact and telepathy would magically sync us up. Complete disaster. Both dove for the same easy shot, cracked heads like coconuts. Dave got a lump on his forehead, I chipped a tooth. Almost drove straight to urgent care.
Finally tried the secret weapon: targeting opponents’ non-dominant side. Sounds smart until we realized:
- Half our shots sailed into the wrong damn court
- Old man Jenkins at the net just switched hands like a boss
- Got dunked on 6-1 by retirees with knee braces
Dave quit on the spot. Said he’d rather take up knitting. Truth is? Fritz’s fancy tricks only work if you’re already pro-level. Reminds me of college when some hotshot coach made us chase chickens to improve speed. Got scratches everywhere and smelled like poultry for a week. Zero wins that season.
Took Dave to the pub later, bought him three beers for the head injury. Next morning we played our normal trashy game – loud arguing, ugly serves, no fancy footwork. Beat Mike and Susan 7-5. Guess some secrets just stay secret for a reason.
