So, I had a go at what I’m calling my “replay belmont” this weekend. And no, I wasn’t hunched over some retro console, though believe me, the temptation is always there. This was a real-world boss fight, one that’s been mocking me for months: the garage shelf. You know the one. Every house has got one. A monument to “I’ll sort this later.”
The Set-Up
First thing, I just stood there, looking at it. Felt like I needed a whip and some holy water, not gonna lie. It was a proper mess. We’re talking old paint cans, half-empty bags of ancient fertilizer, boxes of who-knows-what that have been there since we moved in, probably. The kind of stuff that just… accumulates. It’s like these things breed in the dark, I swear.
Getting Down to It
Alright, so I grabbed some heavy-duty gloves – learned that lesson the hard way a few years back with a rusty something-or-other. Got the big trash bags out. Fired up a podcast to keep me from completely losing it. Then, I dived in. And man, it was a slog. Every time I cleared a bit of space, I’d find another layer of junk underneath. Like peeling an onion, if the onion was full of spiders and regret.
- Found a box of old floppy disks. Floppy disks! What am I, a museum curator now?
- Unearthed a tennis racket with snapped strings. I don’t even play tennis! How does this stuff even get here?
- Had a stand-off with a particularly large dust bunny that looked like it might bite. I’m calling that a mini-boss.
It’s always the same with these jobs, isn’t it? You think it’ll take an hour, maybe two. Next thing you know, half your day is gone, and you’re wondering where you went wrong in life to be battling cobwebs on a Saturday.
The (Temporary) Victory
But, bit by bit, I got through it. Hauled out a ton of garbage. Actually wiped the shelf down – might have been the first time in a decade. Then I tried to be smart about putting back the stuff we actually needed. Used some of those plastic bins we bought ages ago and never touched. Fancy, huh?
By the end, I was knackered. Covered in who-knows-what. But the shelf? It actually looked like a shelf again. Not some archaeological dig site. There’s a certain satisfaction in that, you know? Like finally beating that one super-annoying level in a game. That’s my “replay belmont.” Done and dusted. For now, anyway. Pretty sure that shelf is already plotting its revenge, gathering new junk while I’m not looking. These things always come back for another round, don’t they? But hey, for today, I’m the hero with the whip.
