Okay folks, let’s talk about last Tuesday. Figured I’d test some burning tree solutions myself. You know, the kind of stuff you might actually have handy when things go sideways.
The Setup (aka Trying to Burn Stuff Safely)
I picked a dead pine in my back field – isolated, good dirt ring around it. Messing with fire is no joke. Geared up: thick gloves, heavy boots, safety glasses, and I cleared a huge area around it. Had my phone ready, water jugs standing by, and a neighbor on speed dial just in case. You don’t mess around.
Started it small at the base, letting the flames lick up the trunk good and proper before I let it get real. Wanted that proper emergency feel, you know? Once it was crackling and scary-looking, I started my timer.
Grabbing What Was “Handy”
First up, the garden hose. Yeah, yeah, everyone thinks this is the go-to. Total fail. The water barely hissed when it hit the fire, mostly just wetting the dirt nearby. Flames laughed at it. Didn’t even slow ’em down. Pressure was fine, but against that trunk fire? Pointless. Unless it’s a tiny grass fire, forget it.
Next, grabbed the big metal shovel I use for the garden. Started shoveling loose dirt from that ring I made earlier, tossing it right at the base of the flames. Better. Like, actually better. The dirt smothered the flames down low where it landed. But man, trying to throw dirt up onto the trunk? Nope. Arm strength wasn’t cutting it. It worked right at ground level, but the trunk was still burning strong above where my pitiful throwing arm could reach. Fire on low branches? Forget it.
Finding the Winner (Totally Unexpected)
I was sweating, smelling like smoke, and the top half was still going strong. Feeling kinda stupid. Looked around desperate and saw… a stupid 5-gallon plastic bucket. The kind painters leave behind. Filled it from one of my water jugs. Figured I’d try one last dumb thing.
Walked in as close as I dared – maybe 5 feet? – and just heaved that whole bucket of water at the base of the trunk, aiming upwards. It wasn’t a stream; it was a solid splash. A wave.
HOLY COW. The impact alone blew out the lower flames instantly. The splash went way higher than my pathetic dirt chunks ever could, drenching the trunk higher up. Steam exploded. The fire at the base just… died. The trunk, now soaked black, stopped feeding the fire higher up. The whole top section started choking out fast. Another bucket tossed the same way? Dead embers in minutes. Just smoke and sizzle. That dumb bucket beat the hose and shovel combined.
What Actually Worked
So here’s the real deal from messing around and getting singed:
- Hose: Useless for anything but very small, very low flames. Don’t waste time.
- Shovel & Dirt: Okay if you can bury the base completely. Slow. Limited height. Exhausting. Good backup maybe.
- Bucket of Water: Shockingly effective. Throwing the whole volume at once does two things: smothers the base instantly AND soaks a big area vertically.
That bucket worked like magic because it hits hard and fast with a ton of water right where you need it. You can throw it further than dirt, it soaks better than a spray, and honestly, just emptying the whole thing in one go is way less scary than trying to stand close with a hose spraying weak streams.
The shovel stays as backup to smother any stubborn bits, but that bucket? That’s what actually worked. Simple, brutal, and surprisingly doable. Won’t work for giant trees or crown fires, sure, but for that backyard emergency panic? Keep a strong bucket handy. Seriously. That was the winner in my stupid little experiment. Go figure.
