So I bought this BMW F850 GS a couple years ago, stoked for some adventure riding. But man, it started giving me headaches pretty quick. Let me walk you through the nonsense I dealt with and how I fought back.
The Starter Battery Shtshow
First month in, my bike just stopped cranking one morning. Dead silence when I hit the start button. Towed it to the dealer who said “battery’s cooked” – replaced under warranty. Boom, two weeks later same damn thing. This time I grabbed my multimeter and started testing. Found this stupid parasitic drain killing the battery overnight. Pulled fuses one by one like a detective – turned out the alarm system was bleeding power even when disarmed. Yanked that stupid thing out. Battery’s happy now.
Clutch Making Grinding Noises
Then around 5,000 miles, I hear this awful metal-on-metal screech whenever I pull the clutch lever. Sounded like a dumpster getting dragged. Dealership quoted me $800 to replace the whole assembly. Hell no. Did some digging on forums and found the culprit: dry splines where the clutch plates slide. Got off my ass and did this:
- Pulled off the clutch cover
- Scraped off all factory gunk with brake cleaner
- Slathered splines with Honda Moly 60 paste
- Reassembled in 40 minutes flat
Been whisper-quiet ever since. Saved $750.
TFT Screen Freezes Like a Bad App
Riding through rain last winter and suddenly my dashboard goes full zombie mode – navigation frozen, speed stuck at 32mph while I’m doing 70. Couldn’t even see my fuel level. Dealer wanted to replace the whole unit for $1,200. Not happening. Found a sketchy YouTube tutorial saying hammer the ‘Menu’ button for 10 seconds to reboot it. Tried it parked on the shoulder. Blinked twice and came back to life like nothing happened. Do this monthly now like ritual.
Violent Handlebars Shaking
Around 55mph, the handlebars would try to rip themselves out of my hands. Felt like riding a paint mixer. Dealership blamed “aftermarket parts” even though my bike was stock. Called BS. Measured everything with a caliper and sure enough: steering head bearings looser than my uncle at a wedding. Cranked the triple tree bolt down an eighth of a turn. Zero shakes since.
Listen – these bikes have personalities, mostly the annoying kind. But if you get your hands dirty instead of throwing cash at dealers, they’re fixable. My F850 GS still pisses me off sometimes, but at least now I know how to shut it up.
