My Quest for Portland’s Current Starters
So today my buddy kept arguing about who actually starts for the Blazers this season. I swore Dame got traded months ago but he insisted Scoot Henderson was still coming off the bench. Figured we needed real facts, not memory scraps. Grabbed my coffee-spilled laptop around 8 AM, opened the browser and typed “trail blazers starting five today” real slow.

The Wild Google Jungle
First page showed stuff from like December 2023 – useless since half those guys got traded. Clicked three sites saying “updated daily” but they showed lineups before Simons got hurt. Almost slammed my laptop shut when some site demanded a subscription just to see basic roster info. Tried tweaking search words to “blazers current starters injury report” – still garbage. Felt like hunting Bigfoot with a butter knife.
Finally Struck Gold
Scrolled way down past sponsored links and found a site actually timestamped this morning. Did the double-check dance: Refreshed twice, compared their last game box score with player social media updates. Bingo! Confirmed the current starting five is:
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Jerami Grant
Anfernee Simons
Deandre Ayton

Scoot Henderson
Toumani Camara
Felt smug taking a phone pic of my screen. Sent it straight to my buddy with the middle finger emoji.
Realization Hits
While sipping cold coffee, it hit me – casual fans shouldn’t struggle this hard for basic lineup info. Media companies prioritize trade rumors over current rosters. Typing this now so y’all can skip the two-hour detective work I did. Next time someone claims Shaedon Sharpe starts? Just show’em this list.