Okay so I figured why not hit up Paradise Houston tonight? Heard it’s the spot. First, I asked around about tickets since their dumb website doesn’t list prices proper. My buddy who went last week said it depends completely on the night – basic Tuesday? Maybe $20. Weekend with big DJs? Brace yourself for $50 to $80. Ouch.

Ticket Hunting Mess
Checked their socials – useless promo stuff. Then I called the club directly. Guy sounded rushed, just grunted “$60 tonight before 11.” So I roped two friends in, Venmo’d ‘em cash, and lined up at 10:15 PM sharp. Pro tip? Pre-pay online if you can but only third-party sites had tickets – felt sketch so we skipped it.
Dress Code Drama
Almost got turned away! Bouncer eyeballed my friend’s Jordans like they offended him. Rules are stupidly specific:
- NO sneakers (unless designer – but who defines that?)
- YES collared shirts (even cheap ones)
- NO hats or sportswear
I wore black jeans and a button-down. Friend had to sprint to his car for emergency loafers. Saw three dudes in nice Nikes get rejected while we waited. Waste of Uber money.
Inside Chaos
Took 30 minutes in line after paying. Drinks were $15 cocktails – watery. Crowd was packed like canned tuna. Music? Solid techno but could barely move. Ended up dipping by 1 AM. Felt like paying $60 to stand in a humid box.
Would I go again? Only if someone else paid. Total cost with drinks? Over $100 easy. Not worth the headache unless you really crave that scene. My advice? Wear boring shoes, show up stupid early, or pick another club. Paradise ain’t paradise if your wallet’s crying.