So last weekend I had this random idea – let’s dive into Man United’s 2015 season! I’ve been a fan since forever, but honestly couldn’t remember how they actually did that year. All I recalled was messy football and LVG’s wooden leg on the bench.
First Step: Tracking Down Data
Started with Wikipedia, obviously. Searched “Man United 2014-15” and “2015-16 seasons” since the year cuts across two campaigns. Had like twelve browser tabs open – Premier League results, FA Cup progress, that hilarious League Cup loss to Middlesbrough. Didn’t trust just one source though, checked three different fan sites too.
The Spreadsheet Grind
Made this massive Google Sheet with five tabs:
- Prem Table tracking 2015 league matches month by month
- Cup Runs showing knockout exits
- Goal Scorers – turned out Rooney carried hard with just 12 goals total
- Transfer Costs noting crazy money on Martial and Depay
- Memphis Disaster Count as its own category
Took two espresso shots and three hours to input everything manually. Felt like accounting homework with more swearing.
Sifting Through Match Footage
Watched condensed highlights on YouTube. Christ, that 0-0 draw with Newcastle? Made paint drying look like MMA. Kept seeing:
- Sideways passing all damn match
- Fellaini elbow-smashing defenders
- De Gea saving our bacon constantly
Stomach dropped watching the Mkhi wonder-goal against us in Europa League. Still hurts.
The Ugly Numbers
Finally tallied everything up for 2015 calendar year:
- 49 total games
- Only 21 wins
- 18 bloody draws – LVGball special
- Got knocked out of every cup competition
- Finished outside top four in 2014-15 season
Had to lie down after calculating £250M spent for that garbage.
Why I Bothered
Wife asked why I wasted Saturday on this. Truth is, I found my old 2015 fixture list while cleaning the attic. Had “WE’LL WIN THE TREBLE!” scribbled on it in red marker. Almost cried laughing at past-me’s optimism.
Overall conclusion? They were proper shit but weirdly stable. Like driving a Volvo with no engine – safe but going nowhere. Still, felt good finally confirming what we all suspected: 2015 was pure footballing Xanax.
