Alright, so let me tell you about this thing I tried the other day – mud golf. Sounds a bit bonkers, I know, but hear me out.
It all started after we had this massive downpour. My backyard, especially the lower part, just turned into a proper swamp. I was looking out at it, thinking, what a mess. Then, I don’t know why, but the idea of some kind of silly golf game just popped into my head. The mud was just sitting there, practically begging for something to happen in it.
So, first thing I did was look for some “clubs.” I wasn’t about to use my actual golf clubs, no way. I rummaged around in the shed and found a couple of old, sturdy sticks. One was a bit thicker, sort of like a driver, and another was a thinner, more angled piece of wood that I figured could be a putter, or maybe a wedge. Good enough for me.
Then, the “balls.” This was easy. I thought about using rocks, but then I figured, why not embrace the theme? I scooped up a few handfuls of the thickest mud I could find and tried to roll them into somewhat roundish shapes. They weren’t perfect, more like lumpy blobs, but that was part of the fun. I also had a couple of old, beat-up tennis balls I didn’t care about, so I threw them into the mix as well, just to see how they’d perform.
Next up, designing the “course.” This wasn’t exactly Augusta. I picked out a few spots in the muddiest sections. For “holes,” I just stomped my boot into the ground to make some decent-sized depressions. Maybe three or four of them, spread out a bit. Nothing too ambitious. One was near an old tree stump, another by a particularly squelchy patch.
Then it was time to actually “play.” I teed up my first mud ball. Well, “teed up” meant just plonking it on a slightly less soupy bit of mud. Took a swing with my stick-driver. Splat! Mud flew everywhere. The ball, or what was left of it, didn’t go very far, maybe a few feet, and it sort of half-disintegrated. Okay, lesson learned: mud balls are fragile.
The tennis balls worked a bit better for distance, but they’d get caked in mud real quick, making them super heavy. And trying to “putt” one of those into a muddy depression? Hilarious. It was more like pushing a lump of heavy goo with a stick. Sometimes the ball would just sink and disappear. Other times, the stick would get stuck in the mud with a loud schluuuck sound when I pulled it out.
I wasn’t keeping score or anything. It was just about the ridiculousness of it. My shoes were caked, my trousers were splattered, and I was laughing quite a bit. It’s amazing how something so simple and messy can be pretty entertaining. You really had to whack the mud balls, and the tennis balls needed a good, firm push to get them moving through the thicker sludge.
After about half an hour, I was thoroughly muddy and had lost most of my “balls” to the bog. The “course” was looking even more churned up. Cleaning up wasn’t too bad, just hosed myself down and threw my clothes straight into the wash. The sticks went back to the shed, ready for another potential round if the conditions are right, or wrong, depending on how you look at it.
So yeah, that was my adventure in mud golf. Not exactly a sport for the purists, but if you’ve got a muddy patch and a sense of humor, give it a go. It’s a good way to kill some time and make a glorious mess.
