Alright, so you wanna hear about the time I “Mike Perry Nose Break” myself? Buckle up, it’s a wild one.
It all started last Tuesday. I was feeling good, you know? Little too good, maybe. I decided I was gonna try this new workout routine I saw online. Looked easy enough, just some plyometrics and heavy bag work. I’ve been boxing for a few years, thought I had it covered.
First, I warmed up like usual, stretching, jumping jacks, the works. Felt ready to go. Then, I started with the plyos. Box jumps, burpees, the whole shebang. No problem, I was killing it. Feeling like a freakin’ ninja warrior. This is where things started to go south, like quick.
Next, heavy bag time. I started throwing some combos, feeling the power, working up a good sweat. Then I got cocky. Decided to try this spinning back fist I saw Mike Perry do in a fight. Looked cool, figured I could pull it off.
I spun around, aimed for the bag, and… WHAM! I completely whiffed it. My foot slipped on the mat, and I ate canvas. My face went straight into the heavy bag’s metal frame. I heard a crack. A real bad one.
I knew instantly something was wrong. My nose felt… weird. Like it was bent at a funny angle. I touched it, and yeah, there was definitely a kink there. Blood started flowing, like a freakin’ waterfall. I swear, it looked like a scene from a horror movie.
I staggered to the bathroom, looked in the mirror, and nearly puked. My nose was swollen, crooked, and leaking blood everywhere. I looked like I’d gone ten rounds with Tyson. I am pretty sure Tyson would’ve been kinder than my heavy bag.
Called my buddy, told him I needed a ride to the ER. He showed up looking all concerned, took one look at me, and started laughing. I almost punched him, broken nose and all. But I figured I deserved it a little.
Went to the ER, waited for what felt like forever. Finally, the doctor came in, poked around my nose, and confirmed my fears: broken nose. He gave me some painkillers, told me to ice it, and scheduled me for a follow-up with a specialist.
The next few days were a blur of ice packs, painkillers, and looking like a complete idiot. Sleeping was a nightmare. Breathing was even worse. I felt like a freaking mouth breather. I can’t believe what I did, I’m such a doofus.
So, moral of the story? Don’t get cocky. And maybe stick to the basics. Now I’m stuck with a busted nose and a whole lot of regret. Hopefully, the specialist can fix it. And maybe fix my ego while they’re at it.
Anyway, that’s my “Mike Perry Nose Break” story. Don’t be like me. Train smart, not hard. And for the love of god, don’t try spinning back fists unless you know what you’re doing!
