My Go at This Dominic Ham Thing
So, today, I figured I’d finally tackle this ‘Dominic Ham’ technique I’d been hearing whispers about. Sounded kinda fancy, you know? I got my ingredients all lined up, pulled up some obscure forum post that claimed to have the ‘authentic’ method. The guy swore by it. Dominic’s way or the highway, basically.
I started out, following each step. First, you do this, then you gotta wait for that, then some other weird process. It wasn’t just mixing stuff; it felt like I was performing some ancient ritual. After a couple of hours, I was barely halfway, and my kitchen looked like a disaster zone. And for what? A supposedly superior piece of ham?
It really got me thinking, you know. This whole ordeal, this Dominic Ham dance, it reminded me so much of this gig I had a few years back. We were supposed to be building this ‘revolutionary’ new app. Revolutionary, they said. Turns out, the lead architect was obsessed with these super complicated, ‘elegant’ solutions for every tiny problem. We called his style ‘The Maestro’s Touch’ behind his back, not in a good way.
- Everything had to go through like, five layers of abstraction.
- We spent more time drawing diagrams than actually coding useful stuff.
- If you suggested a simpler way, you’d get this look, like you just didn’t ‘get’ the art of it.
I remember this one feature, a simple notification system. Should’ve taken a day, maybe two. Nah. It became this two-week saga involving three different microservices, a custom event bus, and a design pattern I’m pretty sure he invented on the spot because no one else had ever heard of it. We were all tearing our hair out. The app, by the way, never even launched. Ran out of money, surprise, surprise, probably because they spent it all on whiteboard markers and ‘thinking time’.
So, staring at this half-finished Dominic Ham creation, with brine splattered everywhere and a weird smell starting to fill the air, I just felt that same old exhaustion. That feeling of, “Is this really necessary? Is the payoff actually worth all this convoluted nonsense?”
Honestly, sometimes I think people make things complicated just for the sake of it. To feel smart, maybe. Or maybe Dominic just had way too much time on his hands. Me? I think I’ll stick to the simpler ways next time. My sanity, and my kitchen, will thank me. This whole Dominic Ham practice? Let’s just say the jury’s still out on whether I’ll ever attempt it again. Probably not.
